Be Your Teenage Meme Dream
by queensmooting
Summary: Ed is just trying to finish his homework. Ling is just trying to distract him. High school AU.


a/n: originally posted on ao3 on november 7, 2015.

* * *

There was a knock on his bedroom door, too loud to be Al but too quiet to be Winry. At the moment there was only one other person in the house it could be, and Ed gave a few stress taps of his pencil in anticipation.

"I'm busy," Ed called through gritted teeth. He scooted his uncomfortable wooden chair closer to the desk, as if it could force him to concentrate on the homework in front of him, instead of what was about to happen.

He knew the door was going to be opened, knew it as he knew Ling would come waltzing in within seconds, fling himself on Ed's bed or somewhere else he didn't belong, and introduce some inane topic of conversation meant to steer Ed away from his essay.

Ling opened the door, waltzed in, flung himself on Ed's bed, and said, "Did you see Officer Hawkeye made Black Hayate a fan page?"

Ed had been fully intent on ignoring him. He could see Ling out of the corner of his eye, lying on his stomach and going through his phone like he had an agenda. The last thing Ed wanted to do was give Ling the satisfaction of knowing he had been baited.

The only problem was he _had_ been baited. The words _Black Hayate fan page_ refused to budge from his brain, growing louder and louder with every passing second. So, after less deliberation than Ed wanted to admit, he let himself be reeled in.

"Oh really?" he said, hating himself. "Wait, aren't you guys playing Risk right now?"

"We were but then Mei called, so, you know."

Ling rolled his eyes and Ed couldn't help cracking a smile. Since Mei changed schools last year she and Al had been forced to keep a long-distance friendship, which mostly involved obnoxiously lengthy FaceTime sessions. Ed tried not to make too much fun of him, mostly because Al always knew how to get him back.

"Anyway, yeah, check this out." Ling stretched to show the screen of his phone and Ed leaned in to see a Facebook page titled "The greatest dog in the world…..Black Hayate!" It had eleven followers.

"That's a lot of doge memes," Ed remarked. Hoping that would be enough conversation to satisfy Ling, he turned back to his desk, typing away at the essay up on his laptop.

"Yeah, well, she's old," Ling said, rolling to his back and holding his phone over his face. "She can't help being behind on the times...the meme times."

"Mm hm," Ed said, hoping to sound focused.

He looked back at what he had just written. " _The mitochondria blahb blahrhghjdjg kskjgkd, djggs._ " So maybe his head wasn't entirely in it anymore.

"I'm trying to find some more relevant memes to post on his wall," Ling said. "Class it up a bit, you know? What do you think?"

"I think I'm still about eight thousand words from the minimum count here," Ed said. It was more like eight hundred, but it was still a chasm that was going to take a Ling-less evening to cross.

Ling was alright to spend time with now and then, Ed supposed. He was a good classmate too, ambitious and smart enough to give Ed a little extra drive to succeed. Sometimes he was even funny, when he wasn't trying so damn hard.

But he was also distracting, and Ling's distractions came in many forms. Sometimes Ed would look up in class in the middle of a presentation to find Ling pulling a face at him, and he would completely lose track of what he was saying. There were times when Ling would sneak up on him at lunch, scaring the shit out of Ed before hurrying off, often with a handful of Ed's chips.

Sometimes when Ling laughed, hard enough to make his whole body shake, his hair fell over his eyes, which Ed found distracting in a way that made him nervous to think about.

"There's wisdom dog, I guess," Ling was saying, tilting his head from side to side as he considered his options. "But that's a little _too_ recent. Like it could flame out too soon, you know?"

"Sure." Ed clacked his fingernails against the keys, to give the audial impression of studious behavior.

"Of course, I could just jump on it while the stock's still good. Does that sound right?"

"Hard to say, Ling, I'm not the meme economist here."

"Hm."

Ling made several loud clicking noises with his tongue that Ed figured were supposed to be thoughtful. He realized he was not escaping this without some contribution, and sighed, turning to fully face Ling.

"Isn't Mei always sharing those like…" Ed thought of how to phrase it. "Inspirational horse girl things? On her Facebook? Why not just take one of those and make a, like, cheesy inspirational dog girl poster."

"Is that a thing?" Ling asked, flipping back to his stomach and gazing up at Ed.

"You could make it a thing," Ed suggested.

Ling grinned, a slow and wide smile that made Ed turn back to his desk before any other adjectives could pop into his mind.

"Brilliant," Ling said. "That's the kind of pioneer thinking I love to hear."

"Great," Ed said dully, trying to remember where he was at in his essay.

"Now, I was thinking we need to get on Winry about making a page for Den. Obviously the profile picture's going to be him eating that cheese because-"

"Ling," Ed said, interrupting before he could start in on Tom and Jerry memes. "I'm seriously like ten thousand words away from being done here, do you mind?"

"Alright, alright." Ling sat up, stretching his limbs with exaggerated slowness in Ed's peripheral view. "You know you're gonna nail it though, right?"

Ed laughed hollowly. "I hope so."

"Hey." Ling scooted forward until he could fold his arms on the edge of Ed's desk. "I mean it. You always stress to death, and then you end up kicking ass anyway. Besides, you've got the rest of the weekend to finish. Give yourself a break now and then, okay?"

That was another thing about Ling. His sincerity popped out at the oddest times, but it always happened to be right when Ed needed it. Ed wanted to find it irritating, but, like a lot of things about Ling, he really couldn't, at least not completely.

"Thanks," Ed mumbled. "Bet I'll do better than you, anyway."

Ling laughed, burying his head in his arms before jumping to his feet, quick and graceful enough that Ed hated him a little again.

"Oh, you're funny," Ling said, hopping off the bed.

"Yeah, yeah, get the hell out."

"See you Monday, then," Ling said, clearly not offended by the dismissal, which Ed found slightly offensive. "If you don't come out of your hermit hole before then."

He threw an arm around Ed's shoulders, drawing him in and planting a loud kiss on his cheek before springing away just as quickly.

"Ew, bye!" Ed growled, making a motion to wipe his face but not quite letting his sleeve touch.

Ling waved over his shoulder.

"And close the door!"

Ling didn't look back as he left the door wide open, and Ed slammed his forehead onto his desk, his own groan echoing back to him off the surface. The skin of his cheek tingled, feeling warm and alien, like it didn't belong to his body anymore. Ed was caught between getting back to work to forget it all and a stupid desire to replay the last few minutes over and over in his mind.

He gave his head one more healthy knock into the desk for good measure, then realized no more work was going to happen that day. Ed switched tabs from his report to Facebook, opening up Ling's page. He also went to his picture folder, trying to find the shots of Ling doing karaoke at Al's birthday party.

"Who's the meme king now?" he muttered to himself, scrolling with intent. Ed knew it would start a social media war that would last well into the night, but as Ling said himself, he had the rest of the weekend.


End file.
